“The worst thing about depression is when you realize you don’t know how to smile for real anymore.
It’s the fake laughter.
It’s always being in physical pain for no reason.
It’s being tired. All the time.
It’s lying awake for hours with your mind racing.
It’s the phrase “I just don’t care.”
It’s boredom but you don’t want to do anything.
It’s feeling trapped.
It’s not knowing what you’re feeling but knowing that it hurts.
It’s the moment when you realize nothing matters anymore.
It’s going through life like a robot, an observer, not a participant.
It’s being numb.
It’s the first time you pray to die.
It’s when you wake up each morning.
It’s when you plan your own death.
It’s the guilt you feel because you “have no right” to be depressed.
It’s wanting other people to notice and care but not caring enough yourself to ask for help.
It’s looking into the future and seeing nothing.”—(via justkeepingmyselftogether)
7593) I don't know why I'm obsessed with checking on this blog; I don't have an ED. I'm just trying to lose weight. But sometimes when I look at skinny girls on Tumblr with the body that I want, I can't help but think that it'd really help to not eat, even for just one day, to get there...
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, for a second I think my face is pretty. Then I notice my dark circles, pudgy cheeks, big nose, buggy eyes, and I remember how ridiculously ugly I am. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, for a second I think my body is attractive. Then I notice my muffin top, love rolls, flabby arms, huge thighs, and I remember disgustingly fat I am. When people say I’m “beautiful”, I wonder what exactly they see in me that I can't.